Confident Eaters

Coaches Chat: dealing with food disappointment and how to start loving your body
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Christina: [00:00:00] Hey everyone. Welcome back to the confident eaters podcast. I'm Christina. One of the coaches here at confident eaters today's episode is going to dive into a topic that I find incredibly relatable and important. If you've ever been on a diet, then you've probably experienced food disappointment. You may have really looked forward to a delicious meal only to find that it wasn't at all, what you were expecting. How do we handle that disappointment?

Have you ever just kept going with food? Even after the point of fullness to try to somehow make up for that not so great meal.

As you'll hear in this conversation, that disappointment can be tied to deeper emotions and habits. And in today's episode, you're going to hear some practical tips from Georgie and Shannon on ways that you can deal with it. Next up is a topic of body love. We've all experienced disappointment with the way our bodies look at times, but it's not just about losing weight that will get us there. Many of our clients, even [00:01:00] after experiencing some weight loss don't feel any differently towards their bodies. It is a journey and skill all its own that can be totally distinct from your weight loss journey. If you are someone who wants to take some first steps towards body love, you'll definitely want to tune into what Georgie and Shannon have to say. These are conversations about our real clients. You might find that you aren't alone in feeling the way you do and I can't wait to unpack it with you all. Before we jump in. I want to remind you that these discussions are all about fostering, a positive relationship with food, our bodies and ultimately ourselves. This is a journey, not a destination. And we're in this together. If you're new here, consider subscribing. And if you find value in our conversations, Please leave a server view. It really helps more people learn about the podcast. All right. Without further ado, let's get into today's episode./

Georgie: Welcome to the Confident Eaters podcast, where you get proven methods to end [00:02:00] overeating, emotional eating, and stressing about food. We're heading for harmony between your body, food, and feelings. Hosted by me, Georgie Fear, and my team at Confident Eaters.

Shannon: /Okay, so one of the questions was actually about food disappointment and I was like, I don't know. She prefaced when she asked the question. She's like, this might be one for my therapist and not you and I was like, okay, great. bRing it on. Now I'm very curious. She said that sometimes when she finds food disappointing, it creates a very, her words, dramatic response, for example, she went out to eat, ordered something that she thought she was going to get. I think it was like tacos or something. And then they came out and they tasted gross and she was like, I'm crying at the dinner table. And this happens kind of frequently. And this happened like growing up. And she was like, is that normal? And it's normal to be disappointed by food sometimes.

Georgie: Yeah. [00:03:00]

Shannon: And, you know, we really want something, and we think it's something, and it doesn't meet our expectations, and, you know, that can be really disappointing. We talked a little bit about it from her history of dieting, and that in the past, like, this was it, this is what we were eating, so if we didn't like it.

That really sucked. And so we talked about that a little bit, but I don't know, that one was kind of a new one of lots of tears around disappointing food.

Georgie: Yeah. And none of us want to feel that vulnerable, right?

Shannon: Yeah.

Georgie: Like one new chef at a restaurant, you know, and here we are crying in public, like none of us want to be that vulnerable. So it does seem like it's an excessive amount of disappointment. And so where that could come from could be, as you said, the sort of old mentality of dieting where it was like, this is all you get. You don't get a do over and the truth is actually somewhat different because you can send food back if it's really [00:04:00] disappointing.

Shannon: Mmm, mhmm.

Georgie: You take a few bites and the waitress or waiter comes around and it's like, how is everything? You're like, this honestly is just, it's soggy. It's cold. It's bland. It's whatever. I'm just not enjoying it. And you say that to the waitstaff politely, they will immediately be like, Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Can I get you something else?

Or, Oh, I didn't realize your eggs were cold. Let me get you some that are hot. Like they might replace the item or get you some more of something, but it can be a good place to speak up a little bit. Like, I've spoken up at restaurants when I ordered a salad with chicken and what came out was like two ounces of chicken.

And you know, I don't throw my food on the floor and make a scene, but when the waitress comes by, I was like, is this the normal amount of chicken? Because for an entree, it seems very small to me. And usually the waitress is like, yeah, I know that's really not very much, but that's the standard.

Or, Oh my God, they give you a really small portion. Let me go get you some more from the kitchen. Like they usually want to help you out. [00:05:00] And because we are leaving them tips, they have an incentive to try and make us happy. So if it's something that can be adjusted about your meal, by all means, speak up, try and get it fixed.

Secondly, If we're feeling this crushed by one meal being off, it can be a really good indicator that we're relying on food a little too heavily for our emotional stability and our enjoyment everyday.

Shannon: Mhmm

Georgie: people in the hospital are really good examples of this. People in the hospital are notoriously picky about their food, difficult about their food, unhappy with their food, completely independent from the fact that hospital food tends to be terrible.

Some of the reason that happens is because when you're in the hospital, life is really hard. It's miserable and painful. You're probably feeling sick or cold or hot or nauseous or sore stomach or incisions.

Shannon: Yeah.

Georgie: Like it's no fun. So food is one of the few like bright spots in your day that you really look forward to.

So If you feel [00:06:00] like you're crying because your dinner wasn't good enough, it can be a signal I think I need to make sure I'm having more fun elsewhere in my life. That this isn't the only respite I get from work and strain and, and all that sort of thing. So, you know, look at how much pleasure you're getting in your life.

Shannon: Mmm mhmm yeah.

Georgie: Also recognize that there are some situations where one is best served by eating the disappointing food because it's all you have. Like, I made this chili in the crock pot. I brought it to my office to eat for lunch. It really is kind of lame. I'm not liking it, but I'm eating it anyway because I can't get takeout and get back in time for my next meeting and I don't want to be hungry.

Shannon: Mhmm

Georgie: There are some situations where you're behooved to eat the food even if it's disappointing. But again, a lot of situations you could send the food back. You could politely push the food around your plate if somebody else is, treating you to a restaurant or you're at a wedding or something and the food's just lousy and eat something on the way home or once you get home. So you're not stuck with that being the [00:07:00] last meal on earth. And

Shannon: I love that.

Georgie: It is normal to have some disappointment. Like it's a huge bummer, especially when we're looking forward to something or trying a new restaurant or this new thing. And then we're like, Oh, wah, wah.

Shannon: Yeah, definitely.

Georgie: It is a real, real bummer.

So just anticipating that and acknowledging it like, yeah, this is disappointing, I'm disappointed right now, but it doesn't mean I have to go eat a whole nother meal just because the thing I ate didn't taste very good. Like if you've eaten enough. It's normal to want to eat more just to like make up the enjoyment margin, but recognize that you don't need to do that and you can reassure yourself like I will make sure my next meal is super tasty, but I'm not going to eat extra just because that food was disappointing.

Some of that helpful?

Shannon: That was exactly yes, that's exactly what happened to because. Yeah, she had the tacos, came home, and she was like, I just ate, everything, like,

Georgie: Yeah

Shannon: just making up for it, yeah, makes sense.

Georgie: Totally, I've done it, my clients have done it, I've heard this so many [00:08:00] times, they're like, I came home from work and I just ate so many things, and we're rewinding it, and we're like, okay, so what happened at work, what happened after work, was there traffic on the way home, like, what was different about this day?

Well, it started because my lunch sandwich was all soggy and I'm like, Oh, there it is.

Shannon: That's yup.

Georgie: There it iS! The brought lousy chili to work story is a true story from a client, not me. And she was like, ate the gross chili and then went to the vending machine and bought M& M's and was eating M& M's and she's like, I was angry that I ate the nasty chili. I cooked the chili. I decided to eat the chili. I mean, I was angry that I ate the chili and I had to go make it up with M& M's. Like, yep. So.

Shannon: Yeah.

Georgie: I will say, throw it out, like, throw it out, like, just throw it out next time. And that client actually sent me a little comic strip that she made online with, like, the nasty chili in a trash can. And Coach Georgie saves the day, says, just throw it out. Like, I give you permission to throw out the food [00:09:00] that you made, no matter what went into it.

Shannon: Yes.

Georgie: So

Shannon: No amount of salt can help things. At times, just...

Georgie: Yeah, sometimes you just gotta... Cut your losses and put it in the trash because you're no better off eating it and then eating like revenge M& M's.

Shannon: Yes. I love it. Oh, goodness. I only have one more question.

Georgie: Okay.

Shannon: Which is about body dysmorphia. Curious because so this came a few weeks ago and he kept saying like body dysmorphia, body dysmorphia. I was like, okay, do we feel like it is that serious? this is something that is to that level. Or is it just like, we don't like our body. And he was like, I really feel like it's like to that level. I was like, okay. You also have a therapist. Loop them in on the conversation about this. And his question was just like, how can I start? To love my body?

He was like, I've tried all the stuff where you like get naked in front of the mirror and try to say nice things about yourself. And I was like, well, that seems a little intense, but good for you for trying things. So we worked through binge eating. He's just done so well with that and so much recovery. It's like. [00:10:00] A different person

Georgie: oh!

Shannon: Sometimes when we talk like we first started it was like the idea of emotional check ins like weren't even a thing and now he's like, well, I noticed that this happened because of this emotion I was experienced.

I'm like, my ahh work here is done. So anyways, but he's still experiencing a lot of issues with his body and he's lost weight recently. He's been on Ozempic for a couple of months. Doctor prescribed and overseeing all of that. And he's even to a point where he can step on a scale now, which is a really big deal.

and he's lost weight, but he's still just like, I don't like my body. It makes me really, really upset when I think about it. And it can really just push them over the edge. And so he wants some like practical things that he can do, or even that we can track how he can start practicing loving and accepting his body. So, I pulled one of the notes from Give Yourself More about what your body can do.

Georgie: Yeah.

Shannon: And he was like, yeah, that's a good idea, but like... Mm. I was like, no, this is a really great place to start. So we talked about that and like[00:11:00] finding something your body can do. And so I was like, is there any part of your body that you like? He was like, I like my eyes. I was like, cool. So we can start there. This is already an easy one. So. Okay, we like our eyes. Practice saying that. What do your eyes do for you? They help you, you know, experience the entire world around you. And so doing some of those kind of things. So that's where we're at right now. But I was wondering if superhero chili saving Georgie has more tips.

Georgie: Chili destroying Georgie.

Shannon: Chili destroying. That's right. Not saving. You saved us from the chili.

Georgie: So the focus on functionality is a really good one. And what that does is it helps us remember that our bodies aren't just made to look nice. Like sometimes because we're so image focused and visual, in our society, it's like, what's a good body? Well, it's attractive. As opposed to like, what's a good body? One that like operates and can move around and breathe. So focusing on that is, Really helpful. And it can lead people [00:12:00] to develop an appreciation for progress athletically to like, I used to not be able to carry my groceries inside.

And now after going to the gym for a bit, like I can totally carry three bags all on my own. So we can focus on like improvements in function. You can also look at the way that your body enables you to live life. So what I mean by that is we're all very used to living in a particular body that we're living in, but if you can imagine for a moment living in a different body, let's say one that was six inches taller, six inches shorter than you are.

There would be different pluses and different minuses. Might hit your head on doors. You might have a more comfortable time in an airplane seat if you were particularly short and narrow, and so we recognize that there's probably some things about our body that are pretty darn good. Like if you're not in chronic pain every day.

If you don't have asthma and you can breathe relatively easily, I'm not allergic to any food, which is really great compared to the people I know that have to read menus like super, super carefully to make sure that they're safe. And we can go on and on and [00:13:00] it's natural to have an easier time recalling the limitations.

Like my poor eyesight, or the fact that I sunburn easily, or that I do have joints that hurt relatively often, but there's a whole lot of other stuff that works pretty darn well, 365 days a year. And that's nice to appreciate too. I think it's also nice to talk. About accepting that everybody tends to feel more positive and negative about their body, about their self as a whole day to day.

Like it's going to fluctuate. You're going to have good body image days and bad body image days. So if you're expecting yourself to be like 10 out of 10 every day, that's not realistic. Just like mood. Our body feelings are going to fluctuate. And then our feelings about our body are also going to be made up of parts of us about which we feel more positive and parts about which we're not feeling as positive.

So it's normal to say, I love my eyes, or at least I like my eyes, but I hate my big feet or my legs. are strong and I find them [00:14:00] attractive, but my stomach, I don't like my stomach or vice versa. I really like my stomach, but my legs, I don't like, or I like my shoulders, but not my hands, like, you can cut people up into a hundred different pieces, but recognize that we all have parts of us that we feel more positively about and parts of us that we're not 100 percent thrilled about. And so you can focus more on the things that you like. So if you like your eyes, if you like your height, if you like your arms, like you can dress in a way that shows them off. You can focus on those things first when you look in the mirror.

And make sure you're not laser focusing to the trouble spots, which is what most of our eyes do. I could have like a, a big, you know, goober on my face, but I probably wouldn't notice because if I pass a full length mirror, I immediately look at my thighs. Cuz I'm not worried about my face as much as I'm worried about my thighs So it's like, yeah, you know, we want to train ourselves not to focus on the stuff that we're worried isn't looking good and appreciate that there's things that do look good.

The other thing that I thought of that could be helpful is. Recognizing that you can have an [00:15:00] affection for something out of familiarity and not necessarily out of, rational reasons. Like, think about if you had a car at some point in your life, usually it was one of our first cars, and it's like a clunker.

Shannon: His name was Diablo,

Georgie: Right!

Shannon: And he was a Ford Focus.

Georgie: So you're a Ford Focus Diablo. What was wrong with Diablo? Did the windows work? Should the air conditioning work? Was the radio dicey?

Shannon: Oh, it was a special clunker. Quit on me on the highways multiple times. Ugh, good times. Good times.

Georgie: You still had an affection for it.

Shannon: It was my favorite.

Georgie: Yeah. And so we can have that sort of attitude as well toward our own bodies. Like, you know, this thing's broken down a few times, but on the whole, it's doing the best it can. And it's been through some stuff. So you know, we're, we're pulling for this body, you know, after all of the pavement collisions and maltreatment, maybe from [00:16:00] overfeeding or underfeeding or over exercising or, Weeks of not exercising and the viruses that I've gotten and the broken bones that I've gotten.

And, you know, we think about all the stories that our bodies have been with us through. It's sort of like that old clunker that you may have been driving for a really long time. And you're just

Shannon: This is beautiful.

Georgie: Right? Like you're just buddies by now.

Shannon: This is like, okay, sometimes I get this urge to write children's books, but for adults and this is one that adults need. Like if there are children's books for adults. This would be one with the car analogy and all this is a beautiful Georgie.

Georgie: Yes. My clunker. The five foot six jalopy that I'm driving down the road of life. So does that give you some ideas for things you can talk about with your client?

Shannon: Yes. I think that's really great.

Georgie: Cool.

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Christina: And that wraps up today's episode. I hope you found our conversation about food disappointment and the journey towards body love, insightful and [00:17:00] relatable. Remember, these discussions are here to inspire positive change and it's okay to acknowledge and work through our struggles.

If you have any thoughts, questions, or want to share your own experiences, please send us a message at confidenteaters.com. Thank you for being a part of this community. Remember the journey to a positive relationship with food and our bodies is unique for each one of us. Be kind to yourself. Keep practicing and we'll catch you in the next episode.